i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
