Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
