I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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