I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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