What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize