i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
