As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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