I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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