I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
