there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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