Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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