Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
