This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
