why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
