You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
