and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
