we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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