It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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