so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
