He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
