Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When did angry sex become our thing?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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