doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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