At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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