i wish my penis had a tongue
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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