i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Farmville is her only friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
