Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
