Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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