Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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