She is in my trunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
