Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
