I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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