Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
