what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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