Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
