Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
