Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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