Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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