I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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