So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize