So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize