If i come over, it means nothing
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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