just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
