This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
