I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
