So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
