you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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