I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize