I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize