John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
