Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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