So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I want her autograph on my taint
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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