Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
