ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
