It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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