Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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