for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
