I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
