We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
