I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
