I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
