I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
