I hope mine doesn't look like that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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