what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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