I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
