Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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