I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
