Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
